Monday, December 31, 2012

A Man's Secrets to Successful Online Dating

People have taken to online dating like a duck takes to water…because it works…or, at least, it can work.  Women are, in general, terrified of meeting a man that she has been chatting with online.  All they have heard about are the scary things that can happen…and, I must say, they have a right to be careful to the extreme.  That’s not only wise but vital.  So what’s a nice guy to do?  You aren’t a pervert, a sexual predator, or a weirdo.  You are just a nice guy looking for “the” girl for you.



You must be patient.  Don’t press her for personal information like her real name or where she lives.  Keep your conversations light and fun until she feels comfortable talking with you online.  Don’t try to rush her into meeting face-to-face.  She will think you are desperate or a pervert.  Patience.  Patience. Patience. 
Be absolutely honest about your physical appearance and job.  A good relationship has never been, and will never be, built on lies and deceit.  Eventually she will find out the truth anyway and there you are back at square one. 

A picture really is worth a thousand words.  Post many pictures of yourself doing your everyday activities and make them full body shots, not just head shots.  If you were dating a girl in the real world she wouldn’t just see your head. 

Once the discussion has been opened about meeting face-to-face for the first time, suggest that you meet in a very public place, during daylight hours  and that she bring a friend with her.  After all, you have nothing to hide.  You’ve told her the truth about yourself and she has already seen a lot of pictures of you.  The only thing left is to make her feel safe meeting you.

A Woman’s “Don't” of Online Dating


There are some things that women should never do while engaged in an online relationship with a man.  These things are certain to put a quick and final end to any further communications with him. 



While chatting online or by email do not write your life story.  His eyes will glaze over and he will fall out of his chair.  Keep it short and sweet until he asks for details…then provide them slowly and only answer the questions he asks.  For instance:  If he asks how many siblings you have, he is NOT asking for the details of your interaction with them.  He really just wants to know how many you have. Say you have 2 (or whatever is true) and then ask how many he has.  For every question he asks you, you should ask one of him.   Nothing turns a man off like a long- winded woman who just doesn’t know when to shut up or how to listen. 

Never, ever, EVER lie.  I really believe that lies will catch up with you sooner or later.  Many women (and men) lie about their age, marital status, employment, height, weight and a host of other things in their online profiles.  That is a huge mistake.  If you find a man who you are really interested in, he will find out you lied and there goes any possibility of the relationship progressing.  So, just be honest.  There is someone out there who will like you…even come to love you…for exactly the person you are. 

Don’t be too eager.  It makes you look desperate and it really puts a man off.  They are first and foremost conquerors and if getting the person of their desires to like them too is just too easy, they will quickly lose interest.  I don’t mean play “hard-to-get”.  I mean, don’t push for a face-to-face meeting.  Don’t email them or IM them too frequently.  Play it safe and play it cool.